It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
