my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
