hell yes lets make some ravioli
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
