Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
