3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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