i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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