You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
