so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
