remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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