this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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