It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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