just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
