This girl is more easily done than said...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
