i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
