Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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