Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Less talking, more tequila
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
