Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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