do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
