Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
