Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
