There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
