i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
