Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
