Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
