Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm at about main and main street
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
