Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
how does that bad decision feel?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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