Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
