i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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