All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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