i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
