Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
