just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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