You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
