dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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