why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
