i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
