you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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