she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
