Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
