dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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