Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
