I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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