I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
