Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
