Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
