my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
