went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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