found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
