I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize