i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
