You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
