dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
