If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
