yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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