I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
