Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room