My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Non-Jews are for practice
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.