I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
