Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades