her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.