some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!