He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low