did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
