I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
