Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
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Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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