Have you finally orgasmed yet?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
