saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
